


you who makes this chaos count

by syzyguks



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bugs, M/M, Timeline Fic, but ended completely different, but it ended up being....this, but let's go ig, but we'll pretend that's not the case, i genuinely don't know what to call this fic y'all, it started out as something, it was supposed to be hajime being disgustingly gay for oikawa, not much of a relationship fic methinks, probably lacks consistency, slight angst, srsly, uhh idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27013672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syzyguks/pseuds/syzyguks
Summary: aaaaaaaaaaaaaa i'm so nervous bcs this is my first fic ever for iwaoi + hq, and my second fic overall so my writing is most definitely rusty dfjshfjfkdon't mind the title i absolutely suck at those rip @ megifting this to ams, who introduced me to the wonder that is haikyuu! love you so so much bubs sfjf i hope you like the fic uwuDo comment and Kudos!
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 9
Kudos: 20





	you who makes this chaos count

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kazuyamiyuki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kazuyamiyuki/gifts).



If someone were to ask a three year old Iwaizumi Hajime, what it meant to be friends with Oikawa Tooru, he'd promptly ask who Oikawa Tooru was. His reply would've stayed the same for a long while if it weren't for a very nice summer day.

It was one of those summers - the sultry, sticky, sweaty kind, the one Hajime would absolutely loathe if it weren't for the bugs. When all the kids of his neighborhood met in the park to play games, fight and cry for their chance on the swings, or push each other in the sand pit, Iwaizumi Hajime would run into the greenery with his trusted net, searching for different bugs and marvelling at them until the bugs decided to leave his hand.

That day was as similar as every other day. Hajime woke up early in the morning, watched the sunrise with his mother as she explained how the Sun was the best star to have ever existed. (Hajime was shocked when his mom told him that Sun was in fact, a star. He refused to believe it for days until she showed him the very same fact, printed in the trustworthy library book. Since then, the sun has been his favourite too.)

The sun was kind Hajime, she'd say. There are not many things in this world that love us so unconditionally.

Now, Hajime was too young to understand what unconditionally means and he had an inkling it had something to do with being an adult like his Mom, but it was fine. He had a lot of time before he would learn what that word meant.

Hajime performed his daily routine, he wiped the dishes as his mother washed them, and this time not one spoon fell off his hands. He napped for a while after having a hefty lunch, his mom had prepared his favourite dish that day. And when the sun's blazing heat slowly declined, he headed out with his favourite net to the park.

Except this time, there was another kid on Hajime's side of the park. And said kid was cooing at what looked like a wiggling and a very sticky worm. Hajime did not like the intrusion, there was already very less time before the sunset and he had to find the bright green bug that he had seen the previous day, whizzing past his head making him unable to take a proper look at it. 

"Oi, this is my side of the park. What are you doing here?" Hajime asked, his voice turning gruff in an effort to look intimidating. The boy did not glance at him, still in awe of the worm that was currently chewing on a leaf. Hajime called him out once again, but the other boy paid no heed. It was almost as if the boy was in a trance, not paying attention to anything else but the worm. Hajime almost stopped from disturbing the boy because he related to the boy's awe.

But then, he realised he had a bug - or was it a fly? - to catch and this boy was only ruining his plans for the day and pushed forward to poke the boy with the pole end of his net. 

The boy flinched, squealing at the sudden movement, hand rising to rub where his skin was rudely prodded. He lifted his head to meet Hajime's eyes, face full of scorn at the rude interruption. Hajime felt almost apologetic for his behaviour.

"What do you want?" the boy asked, anger apparent in his tone. Hajime scoffed - the audacity this boy had to be rude to him in his area of the park.

"This is my area of the park and you're being a nuisance here. Get away from this place," Hajime demanded.

The boy's eyebrows pinched together in confusion, and then in anger as he realised Hajime's words. He huffed, standing up and walking towards Hajime, stopped until their faces were close to each other and said, "what if I don't?"

Hajime growled in frustration, completely shocked and irritated at the boy's reply. "Well, I will complain to my sister that you are irritating me."

The boy gasped, "but I didn't even irritate you! You were the one who pushed me with the stick and hurt me!"

Hajime rolled his eyes, "oh get over it! I wasn't even rough! It didn't even bruise!"

"Oh it did," the boy exclaimed, pushing his sleeve upwards to show Hajime the red flush painting the skin.

And there it was, a very red hue on the boy's skin, in the form of a circle big enough to be the impression of his net's pole end. Hajime's eyes widened in fear. Oh no, he thought, if this boy were to show this to his sister he'd be so screwed.

Hajime saw the boy scrunch his face trying to assess the damage on his skin and floundered, as the boy's eyes widened, tears building up in his eyes.

"Wait wait! Please don't cry! I'm sorry I was too rough! Please don't complain to anyone!"

The boy raised his eyes to meet Hajime's, a careful expression on his face as if he were being cautious. He stared into Hajime's eyes for a while, pausing to comprehend the panic in Hajime's tone before he sighed. Still pouting, the boy asked him why he hurt him that way.

Hajime folded his arms, "like I said, this is my side of the park, and you are being a nuisance."

The boy blinked. He stared at Hajime, curiosity painting his eyes as he asked what Hajime meant by his side of the park.

"Well," Hajime looked down, suddenly interested in the ground, his shoes scuffing the mud, "no one else comes here because this place is full of bugs and I love bugs so this is my side of the park," he mumbled.

"Oh. Well, I love bugs too. May I please join you for bug watching?" the boy asked, a pleading tone matching his pleading face, making it difficult for Hajime to say no.

Hajime stared at the boy, part in wonder and part in happiness because there was no one else in this stupid place who loved bugs and appreciated them as he did, but now there was someone else. There was someone who loved bugs the same way he did, and probably more. Hajime scowled at the last part of his thought but quickly rearranged his expression as he saw the boy's face crumple.

"Okay fine, but what is your name?"

"Oikawa Tooru. What is yours?"

"Iwaizumi Hajime."

"Nice to meet you, Iwaizumi Hajime," the boy smiled, and for once Hajime didn't mind the boy intruding his place.

Few hours later, Hajime had proclaimed the park to be both his and Oikawa's kingdom, with Oikawa giggling in glee as he watched the bright green fly buzzing inside the net, trying to escape. They let the fly escape the net a few seconds later, because Oikawa had mentioned something about a very beautiful ladybug that Iwaizumi-kun must see.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If someone were to ask a fourteen-year-old Iwaizumi Hajime what it meant to be friends with Oikawa Tooru, he would scrunch his face and comment on how stupid the question was. Hajime wasn't just friends with Oikawa Tooru, he was Oikawa's best friend and an unofficial babysitter.

Iwaizumi was fourteen going on fifteen, and was absolutely done with Oikawa's bullshit. He had learned the word recently and decided it was apt to describe the absolute ruckus that Oikawa caused, his voice going squeaky as he whined mean, Iwa-chan!

Suffice to say, Hajime was completely done with Oikawa's attitude and regretted making friends with the bug boy. You were the resident bug boy before I came to your neighborhood, Iwa-chan! 

Hajime chose to ignore Oikawa's indignant arguments as he paced on, walking towards Kitagawa Daiichi Junior High. There were new recruitments taking place that day and Iwaizumi being a final year did not want to miss watching the pool of fresh recruits. The coach was stingy and would order the final years to mentor the first years.

It was a practice for the third years too, they were going to be on high school volleyball teams and needed as much betterment in their performance as they can rack up, their coach had said. Hajime thought of that to be bullshit too, almost at par with Oikawa's bullshit. Hajime for the first time, regretted his decision to join volleyball, blindly following Oikawa. 

The first years were refreshing this time, Hajime thought, as he saw the talent the little boys displayed. There were three of them, whom Hajime had decided were the most promising, if polished by their coach - Kunimi Akira, Kindaichi Yutaro, and Kageyama Tobio. Hajime had especially like Kageyama Tobio, who seemed like a very promising setter. The kid also seemed to hero worship Hajime, stroking his ego. Oikawa had taken one look at the kid and decided that he was a brat, huffing haughtily as he walked past the kid. Typical Oikawa, Iwaizumi thought, hating all those who took his attention for a while. Hajime couldn’t point it out, but something about Oikawa’s almost possessive behaviour always made him smile.

Few days into volleyball training with the newcomers, the coach had pulled Hajime aside and explained how Kageyama Tobio, the new setter, seemed to be extremely talented at setting. His sets are beautiful, Iwaizumi, the coach had said, they were crisp and pin-pointed. He seems to have a natural talent at setting. Oikawa, who stood beside Iwaizumi had turned towards the kid, face devoid of any expression. 

“Oikawa, why don’t you teach him how to serve?” The coach had asked and Iwaizumi was shocked at Oikawa’s polite refusal, citing how he wasn’t doing his best in the serves and how he wanted to practice better before being eligible to teach the kid. Hajme could make out how Oikawa’s voice had strained in a weird manner when he said eligible. Oikawa had simply smiled at Hajime’s calculative gaze and proceeded to work on his serves.

Funny, Hajime thought, just yesterday I heard Oikawa scream about he got the hang of the jump serve.

Hajime had babysitting Oikawa as one of his duties, the other boy’s mother holding Hajime’s hand in hers and requesting him to take care of her precious son. He took it as a serious duty, which meant he would catalogue all of Oikawa’s moods, expressions, intonations, and emotions. Iwaizumi Hajime knew Oikawa Tooru the best, the same way Oikawa Tooru knew Iwaizumi Hajime the best.

Which is precisely why Hajime thought Oikawa’s feelings towards Kageyama were more than a mere childish enmity. This was proven when he stopped Oikawa from hitting Kageyama, when the kid asked him to teach how to serve. Hajime knew that Oikawa felt remorse, he had even apologised to the kid, but something in him told him that maybe, just maybe, Oikawa would mess things up again.

The day Oikawa Tooru panicked and made the absolute worst sets in the entirety of his middle school volleyball career was the day he was benched and replaced by Kageyama Tobio, who led the team to victory with his near perfect tosses and the most beautiful sets. Iwaizumi entered the Kitaichi volleyball gymnasium that evening, to watch Oikawa almost hit the younger setter, who had approached him to learn Oikawa’s serves from Oikawa himself. 

Panic flared his senses as he watched Oikawa’s hand raise, poised ready to harm Kageyama in some way or the other, and he ran to stop Oikawa. Oikawa’s widened eyes and the flash of regret on his face made Hajime stop for a second. Oikawa felt guilty for his actions, Iwaizumi knew that, but the mere thought of him being late and Oikawa actually slapping Kageyama sent shivers up Hajime’s spine. He berated Oikawa for his exceedingly stupid actions and reminded Oikawa of how volleyball was a teamsport, not a single person sport. The team with the better six is stronger, you dumbass, he screamed at Oikawa who looked like he finally understood the meaning of team spirit.  
The look on Oikawa’s face might’ve meant determination, but Iwaizumi Hajime had years of the Oikawa Tooru experience, and that meant that there was no way the brat - trashykawa, really - would stop his stupid animosity against Kageyama. That was clearly evident as he watched Oikawa refuse to teach Kageyama his serves with a no way, stupid, and the most irritating expression on his face. 

The match between Shiratorizawa Junior High and Kitagawa Daiichi Junior High led to a loss for Kitagawa Daiichi. They had managed to grab a set from the opponent but had admittedly faced defeat in the very hands of Ushijima Wakatoshi. That guy had some huge strength, none of his strikes were properly blocked by Kitagawa’s middle blockers. The taste of defeat, despite Oikawa winning the Best Setter Award, lingered in the back of their throats like a persistent cough, as the team went home in absolute silence. 

Except for Oikawa - that shithead, Hajime cursed as he ran towards the small patch of greenery that the park had, the very area that a three-year-old Iwaizumi had proclaimed to be both his and Oikawa’s kingdom. The park authorities did not allow anyone to enter that area, to prevent the repeat of an incident where a kid was injured, three years ago. 

Hajime sneaked into the park - it was too late to even go to the park, Oikawa - that asshole - was so going to get another punch to his stupid face - only to find Oikawa curl upto himself and cry his heart out. Hajime ran towards Oikawa and enveloped him in a hug as he let Oikawa bury his face into his shoulders, the sniffles increasing into sobs and some uttered gibberish. They stayed that way until Oikawa’s sobs turned into light sniffles and then slowed down to an occasional hiccup. 

“What’s wrong, Oikawa?” 

“I just.” A sigh. “Nothing, Iwa-chan. Don’t mind me, I’m just being a sore loser,” Oikawa smiled and Hajime noted how the smile did not reach his eyes. Hajime watched Oikawa in silence as the other boy stared at the park, his eyes showing how far off he was in his thoughts. This is going to be messy, Hajime thought as he mustered up the courage to speak, already dreading the outcome. He doesn’t think he has the ability to handle if Oikawa cries once again.

“You know, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa starts right before Hajime can even mutter a word, “bugs are the weirdest creatures ever. All they do is live for a few hours and die. And what do they do in those few hours? Pester us.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard from you, dumbass, and I hear you on a daily basis.”

“Mean, Iwa-chan!”

Hajime paused as he assessed the look on Oikawa’s face. His face was swollen, his cheeks were red with tear tracks marking them vertically, his eyes were red with excessive crying, and overall Oikawa looked exhausted. For a brief second, Hajime panicked as he wondered if volleyball caused this to Oikawa, if volleyball was the reason Oikawa felt this hopeless. Hajime found himself desperately wishing for that to not be the case.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Attending high school in Aoba Johsai Private High School was one of the biggest decisions Oikawa had taken in his entire life, Hajime following him to enroll in the same school and subsequently the school’s volleyball team.

If someone were to ask a seventeen, turning eighteen, year old Iwaizumi Hajime what it meant to be friends with Oikawa Tooru, he would sigh. It meant running behind that brat, he’d say dragging his palm over his face in exasperation. It meant warding off all the girls that crowded Oikawa as soon as the lunch bell rang. It meant physically dragging Oikawa away from his stupid fanclub that he managed to create few weeks into his high school - how did he even manage that, the idiot - so that Oikawa could actually attend the volleyball practices.

It might have been the flock of girls surrounding him all the time, or the dedicated fanclub he had, or the lethal jump serves he had perfected, or the way he managed to tweak his sets to the hitter’s best capabilities making him the team’s official setter, but Hajime had seen a tremendous growth in Oikawa’s self-confidence. Aoba Johsai was a good decision, Hajime had thought to himself one day, as he saw Oikawa flawlessly serve one of his most brutal serves and proceed to set one of the best sets Hajime had seen in a while. 

What’s the point of being a setter if I can’t cater to the team’s needs, Iwa-chan? Oikawa had once asked when Hajime offhandedly commented on Oikawa’s sets. Hajime had felt a surge of happiness as he realised that Oikawa had finally grasped what Iwaizumi had screamed to him that day in a fit of rage. 

It took him a day to realise that Oikawa had meant it as a jab towards Kageyama, who was in his final year at Kitaichi and earned the name King of the Court for his behaviour. 

The final year of Aoba Johsai saw Oikawa leading the team with Hajime as his Vice Captain. When the news of Kageyama joining Karasuno and being the team’s official setter had reached Oikawa, he immediately demanded a practice match. Oikawa could not attend the match until the last few serves due to a knee injury Oikawa - that absolute trash head, Hajime had seethed upon learning the news - had gotten a few days before the practice match.

That evening, Hajime had met Oikawa in their place in the park, with Oikawa observing the sun set as a serene smile painted his face. The hues of orange, pink, and purple colored and shaded Oikawa’s face beautifully, Hajime had absently noted. This Oikawa, Hajime thought, with this peaceful smile and a calm gaze was beautiful. 

Wait, what?

Hajime shook his head as if that would help him physically remove the treacherous thoughts. “I’m really happy today, Iwa-chan,” Hajime heard Oikawa say.

“Of course, you would be happy, Crappykawa. You got to go against that kid and win.”

“Mhmm, true, but also today feels like a good day, no?”

Hajime stared, “today is as normal as every other day, dumbass.”

“Are you sure, Iwaizumi-kun?” Oikawa giggled, the laughter sounding light and free. It automatically brought a smile on Hajime’s face.

“Iwaizumi-kun? You’ve never called me that in your entire life.”

“I think you need to get used to it, otherwise Yumi-chan would feel sad.”

“Yumi-chan?”

“Mhmm, my girlfriend!”

Hajime paused, “since when did you have a girlfriend, you trash bag? And why didn't you tell me?”

“One day you’ll call me by my actual name, Iwa-chan, and that day I will rejoice,” Oikawa huffed as he hit Iwaizumi at the back of his head. Iwaizumi punched his bicep in retaliation. 

“Girlfriend,” Hajime prompted, “since when?”

“Since today,” Oikawa smiled once again, the setting sun gleaming in his eyes, “she asked me out during lunch, when I went to buy my lunch, and I accepted.”

“She is pretty cute, no wonder you accepted her proposal,” Hajime mused. 

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa gasped, “are you insinuating that I’m shallow minded?”

“No, dumbass, I’m stating that you consider appearances above personality,” Hajime deadpanned.

“Now, now, is that jealousy I see? Is my dear Iwa-chan getting jealous that I have a girlfriend?”

“Shut your stupid mouth, you ass. Also, am I not Iwaizumi-kun to you now?”

“Well,” Oikawa pouted, “you’re being mean once again, and you are Iwaizumi-kun from tomorrow onwards.”

“That’s not how it works, you idiot.”

“That’s totally how it works, and I’m right because I said so. Let me fill my share of calling you Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan. Who knows when I will be able to call you that again.”

Hajime’s heart stopped beating for a second. The mere thought of being called anything other than Iwa-chan by Oikawa made his stomach twist weirdly. “Well,” Hajime stuttered, “I hope you don’t call me that anytime soon.

A pause filled the air as Oikawa understood the implications of what Hajime had said. The smile that bloomed on Oikawa’s face seemed mocking, berating Hajime for his stupidity and watching his downfall. 

It was that evening Hajime had learned two things - one, Oikawa had gotten a girlfriend, and two, Iwaizumi was most definitely crushing on Oikawa.

\------------

The days as third years in Aoba Johsai went quickly, as if they were sand trickling from someone's closed fist. The Inter High qualifiers saw Seijoh winning against Karasuno, with Oikawa - Hajime assumed - getting over whatever rivalry he had with Kageyama. The same qualifiers also saw Seijoh losing to Shiratorizawa once again, Oikawa losing to Ushijima once again.

That day, Hajime had joined Oikawa at the terrace of the Oikawa residence. They stargazed that night, with Iwaizumi pointing out the stars as Oikawa drew the constellations with his pointer finger. 

"Next time, we will win against Shiratorizawa," Hajime said with determination.

Oikawa faced Hajime and smiled. "I don't like this week, Iwa-chan," he whispered.

Hajime startled at the name. He had a feeling where the conversation was heading and he hated it already.

Hajime watched the tears run down Oikawa's face as Oikawa spoke about the break up and losing against Shiratorizawa. Hajime watched as Oikawa's insecurities resurfaced, making Oikawa second guess himself and his skills. He had to stop before the dumbass spiralled into another bout of self-hatred, Hajime realized.

"At least you get back to calling me that wretched nickname," Hajime grumbled in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Oikawa chuckled, "are you sure you hate that nickname, Iwa-chan?" His eyes glittered like the stars in a galaxy.

Hajime was floored. Oikawa, once again, looked beautiful. Oikawa looked ethereal, Hajime thought, as his eyes slowly traced Oikawa's features. Those soft brown locks styled in the most obnoxious way which made Hajime want to run his fingers through them, the eyes holding a galaxy's worth of stars as they opened wide in wonder, the little scars and marks scattered on his face - Hajime had always fought his need to connect them with his fingers, and sometimes with his mouth - that Oikawa was sometimes self conscious about, the little crow feet Oikawa got as his smile reached his eyes, and his smile - his genuine smile - the one that made his cheeks puff up as a blush coated his cheeks, his full bellied laughter which erupted nebulae in Hajime's heart, and his kind - gentle, caring, sensitive, sensible, lovely - soul that understood Hajime in ways no one else did; Hajime was screwed.

Iwaizumi Hajime was seventeen, turning eighteen, and he was utterly screwed as he realised the intensity of his feelings for Oikawa Tooru.

He had the opportunity to confess, what Oikawa had asked was inviting, but Hajime tamped down his irrational heart as he grumbled out a weak yes, dumbass.

"Mhmm, whatever you say Iwa-chan," Oikawa replied in a sing-song tone, as if he knew what Iwaizumi actually felt. 

"So, how are we winning against Shiratorizawa next time?" Hajime asked, desperate for a topic change. He isn't sure if he can continue the Oikawa is beautiful train of thought without doing something brash and damaging their friendship. 

"Aah, thanks for asking Iwa-chan. I have few ideas and I'm sure we'll win this time!"

The Spring Qualifiers was the last set of matches that Iwaizumi would play, as a third year. That would be the last set of games he would play with the current Aoba Johsai team. That would be the last attempt to go against Ushijima Wakatoshi, and win against Shiratorizawa. That would be the last attempt for Oikawa to fulfill his wish. 

Hajime hoped to end his high school volleyball career with a win, the memories of his team going to the Nationals. He had already decided to not pursue volleyball after high school, Sports Sciences seeming more attractive for him to pursue as a course. He did not know what Oikawa planned to do, neither of them bringing up the topic when they were together. Their career guidance counselor had suggested they concentrate on studies, as sports was not an appreciated career choice by many. The third years mocked their counselor during lunch that day.

"I have few options, Iwa-chan. And I want to research thoroughly and plan well so I could answer all of your questions," Oikawa said later, that evening.

"Since when did you start being responsible, Crappykawa?" Hajime had asked in response, and received a whack on the head along with a mean, Iwa-chan!

Hajime watched Oikawa's eyes light up with passion as he strategized Seijoh's tactics against Shiratorizawa. Hajime couldn't pay attention, not when Oikawa looked ethereal, every fiber of his being urging him to cup Oikawa's cheeks and plant a kiss on his plush pink lips. Hajime wondered if Oikawa used a lip balm, his lips were chapped but Oikawa's were smooth and pink, just like the ones in the advertisements. 

That's so fucking weird, what the fuck Hajime. Get a grip you fool.

"- so what do you say, Iwa-chan? Personally, I think this might be strenuous to our first years but I feel like they can handle the pressure. We might need to switch up the training regimen too. You take care of it while I check their plays, okay?"

Hajime was fucked. He did not listen to what Oikawa was talking about - distracted by Oikawa's lips, like a horndog - and he scrambled for a reply. Yeah, sure, whatever you say seemed like an apt reply and Hajime breathed a sigh of relief as Oikawa smiled at Hajime. 

I wish I could stay with him forever, was Hajime's last thought as sleep consumed him.

\------------

The Spring Qualifiers matches for the Miyagi Prefecture Representative saw Aoba Johsai lose to Karasuno. Hajime stood on the court, staring at his palms as he remembered the last spike, the one that Oikawa put so much faith onto, the one that Hajime would definitely hit, the one that would've been the cause for their victory. 

Hajime remembered how Oikawa flew into the boxes outside the court boundary and almost tripped while running towards the court, he remembered the smooth trajectory of the ball, the way it felt right for the split second contact with his hands. He had jumped well, Oikawa had set beautifully, Hajime had matched Oikawa's set with his wonderful spike.

Those damn crows aptly matched their defense to our spike, Hajime thought bitterly. You are the Ace, you're the one Oikawa trusts when he's in a pickle. You've let him down. You've let the team down. Oikawa wouldn't win against Ushijima because of you. Oikawa wouldn't win-

A par on his back, full of force, brought Hajime to reality. The court was silent, even the crowd that came to support Karasuno were quiet. The cheer team for Seijoh stood in complete silence as the players lined up, facing them. 

Thank you for the game! 

Hajime couldn't hear his own voice amongst the others, and he was sure he wouldn't have heard it if it were just him who had to thank the audience. The team was faced with the clamest of the applause, a you guys did great, we are proud of you, apparent on the audience’s faces. 

Ushijima would’ve spiked all of Oikawa’s sets, Hajime thought as the team congratulated Karasuno. Oikawa would’ve gone to Nationals if they were teammates, his mind supplied traitorously as he watched a stoic Oikawa congratulate an equally stoic Kageyama - now we’re even.

Hajime couldn’t stop the flow of tears as he thought of his last spike repeatedly, images whirring by, of how he couldn’t manage to hit the set, despite being the ace of the team, despite being Oikawa’s most trusted weapon, despite the set being easy to spike. 

Ushijima would’ve- 

Hajime is interrupted from his thoughts, once again, by Oikawa whose hand rested against Hajime’s shoulders. “Ushijima will never get the satisfaction of spiking my set,” Oikawa muttered, his voice gravelly, his expression being trying to be neutral. Hajme can track the stains Oikawa’s tears make, and can see the way Oikawa’s nose had turned pink, his lips swollen and bruising because of the biting. 

Hajime shuddered in a deep breath, mind clearing at once the moment his mind registered Oikawa’s words. “But I didn’t-”

“You don’t have to spell it out for me to figure out what you’re thinking, Hajime,” Oikawa whispered, his face giving away no emotion whatsoever while Hajime’s face showed every emotion he was going through. “Ushiwaka-chan will never get the satisfaction of being right. He wasn’t right, not back then, not now, not ever.”

“But you-”

“Would've gone to Nationals if I were in Shiratorizawa. Maybe, but I don’t want to. Not with him.”

“Oikawa," Hajime mumbled, staring at his best friend's face. He looked as normal as one would, as if they didn't lose to Karasuno. 

"We gotta pack, Iwa. Let's go to the gym once, okay?"

“Oikawa.”

“No, not now, not here.”

“But, Oikawa-”

“The school gym. Please.”

“Okay,” Hajime sighed. Something was wrong, Hajime’s instinct screamed, and it wasn’t their loss. Hold on to Oikawa tight and don’t let him go. He needs you today, more than ever.

The third years visited the Seijoh Volleyball Court for one last time before returning to their homes. The boys played a game in silence, each one of them apprehensive as if waiting for the ball to drop. The game went on smoothly, Oikawa not faltering in his sets and the rest of the third years reciprocating to his sets equally. The third years were left teary eyed, Hajime failing to hold back his tears as a crying Oikawa thanked them for being a part of the team and creating wonderful memories. 

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa stopped Hajime on their street, right in front of Hajime’s house.

“What?”

“One day, what if I play against you?”

Hajime raised a brow at Oikawa’s question, “are you telling me we’re not going to team up again?”

“No, it’s just a hypothetical question. A what if.”

“Mhmm, then that day I’ll grind you to the dirt.”

“Right back at you then,” Oikawa replied, his voice containing undertones of relief. Hajime paused. Something really is off today, is he not-

Wait.

“Oikawa.”

“Mhmm, Iwa-chan?”

“....it isn’t a hypothetical, is it?” Hajime whispered, staring at Oikawa, tracking all the changes in Oikawa’s expressions. Of course it isn’t, Hajime realised, at the Oikawa’s lack of response.

“You don't have to mention it to me if you don’t want to, Crappykawa, but let me ask you one thing. Are you sure about your choice?”

“Iwa-”

“Hundred percent sure?”

Hajime watched Oikawa’s face settle into determination as he spoke the words, “Yeah. I spoke to our coach and also someone. They offered to train me. I’m not leaving volleyball, Iwa-chan.”

“But you’re leaving Japan.”

A beat of silence, and then a whisper, “yeah, I’m leaving Japan.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Hajime cleared his throat, “well, who’s training you?”

“Jose Blanco.”

“.....the setter from Argentina?”

“Yes, the setter from Argentina.”

“How far is Argentina from Japan? Around 20,000 kilometres?”

“I guess so, I haven’t calculated the distance Iwa-chan. I only know the ticket prices.”

“Oh, so this was planned beforehand.”

“.... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you any of this, Hajime.”

“Nah, that’s okay. I understand.”

“Do you?”

Another beat of silence.

“Not really, but you have your reasons. I won’t force you to tell me. I’m not that cruel, you know?”

“I know, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa ducked his head as he tears filled his eyes once again, “I didn’t tell you because that would mean this is all true. That would mean I would leave you; I can’t bring myself to even think of it Iwa.”

“Oikawa,” Hajime whispered soothingly, “it’s scary out there, isn’t it? You’re losing the comfort of your home and family to follow your dreams. That’s scary for you, right?”

“Yes,” Oikawa shuddered as he felt Hajime’s hands come around him, a feeling of comfort washing through Oikawa.

“I think you’ll be fine, Oikawa,” Hajime replied. They shared another moment of silence, focussing on each other’s breaths as they revelled in the comfort of each other. Oikawa slouched lightly to fit his face in the crook of Hajime’s neck, tears freely falling as the boy cried his heart out in the comfort of his best friend. Hajime couldn’t stop his tears either, as he heard Oikawa cry.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa sniffled, as he moved away from Hajime’s embrace, “there’s another thing I need to tell you.”

Hajime hummed a response, concentrating on wiping Oikawa’s tears. “Iwa-chan, thank you for staying by my side. I’ve always felt invincible when you were beside me. Thank you.”

Hajime stilled for a moment, his eyes widening. “You don’t have to thank me for being your friend, you ass. Stop acting like you’re going to die, you’re just going to another country,” he snorted, making Oikawa giggle. They stay like that for a while, Oikawa staring at Hajime, humming as Hajime ran his fingers through Oikawa’s hair, both of them clinging to each other tightly.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispered, his grip on Hajime’s jacket tightening.

“What is it?” Hajime hummed, ceasing his movements the moment his mind registered how still Oikawa was. Hajime glanced at Oikawa’s face and found himself gazing back. Not for the first time that day, Oikawa is beautiful, Hajime’s brain supplied.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa mumbled, his voice going hoarse, desperation leaking into his tone. Hajime gulped. He had an inkling of what Oikawa meant, and that brought upon a sudden spike in his heartbeat. 

“Oikawa,” Hajime whispered, his palm resting at the base of Oikawa’s neck as he felt Oikawa’s hands loop around his waist. “Oikawa,” Hajime muttered urgently, as he inched their faces closer, their foreheads touching.

“Tooru,” Hajime mumbled, as he took in a deep breath and planted a kiss on Oikawa’s lips. 

The world stood still for a moment, as Oikawa gasped out a Hajime, before deepening the kiss. They kiss for a while, pausing in between for shaky breaths before diving back, Oikawa nibbling Hajime’s lips and drawing out breathy moans from him. 

When they part, they rest their foreheads against each other’s, panting as they take in huge gulps of air. Hajime felt his heart speed up its thrums as he stared into Oikawa’s eyes, only to find the other boy doing the same.

Galaxies, hundreds of them. A universe. His eyes.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispered, his eyes turning glassy as he stared at Hajime.

“Tooru! Hajime! Is that you, boys? Get inside, we have dinner,” Hajime’s mother called out for them, the boys flinching and breaking apart at the voice. Hajime doesn’t look at Oikawa as he mumbles a you coming? before heading towards his house’s gate.

“No, thank you, I’ll just go home. Good night, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa replied, his face sporting a small, fake smile. 

“Good night, Oikawa,” Hajime responded, as he locked the gate, watching Oikawa enter his house and being greeted by his mom at the doorstep. Hajime sighed. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“So, Iwaizumi-san, how does your friendship work?” Miya Atsumu asked, as he tied the laces of his shoes. Hajime is puzzled for a second, before breaking into a timid smile. The match scheduled for the day was between Japan and Argentina, and the entire National Team was pumped up. 

For those who knew Oikawa it was a get together, for those who didn’t it was a chance of redemption. Argentina had won the matches against Japan twice before, and the Monster Generation was the nation’s hope of breaking the streak. 

“What friendship?” Hajime asked, a giggle escaping his lips at the startled look on Atsumu’s face, “just kidding. We, uhh, know that we have our personal goals to achieve, and we’ve simply prioritised our goals over anything else.”

“Whoa, that’s so mature of you guys, I would’ve never done that, ever,” Atsumu replied, his elbows resting on his thighs as he openly stared at Iwaizumi with wonder. 

“Just because they have their priorities straight does not mean they are mature,” Ushijima commented casually, flexing his fingers and massaging his wrists, following his usual pregame routine.

If someone were to ask Iwaizumi Hajime, 27, Athletic Trainer for the Japan National Volleyball Team, what it meant being friends with a certain Oikawa Tooru, he'd give you a smile. 

It is good, he'd say, Oikawa is a good friend. In typical fashion, a certain Ushijima Wakatoshi would point out - with a mischievous gleam in his eyes - that they weren't friends anymore, not after the selfie Ushijima and Iwaizumi took together and sent it to Oikawa.

Iwaizumi would proceed to be embarrassed, and he would sputter a what nonsense are you talking Toshi-kun, before punching Ushijima in the bicep. Ushijima would proceed to act as if he were hurt and they would continue fake brawling until someone physically threw them apart.

Which is precisely what Ojiro Aran had done, when the duo lost their footing, tumbling down onto the floor. The rest of the team laughed out loud at their antics, and Hajime was satisfied at the drastic change in the members’ moods. 

“Iwaizumi-san,” Kageyama quietly called for him, his expression careful, “he is playing today, isn’t he?” The rest of the team looked up from what they were doing, half of them curious, especially Miya Atsumu who leaned forward to listen clearly.

“Yeah, he is,” Hinata nodded his head, tying his shoelaces and testing his jump, “he messaged me yesterday. Told me he was excited to wipe the floor our asses,” Hinata chuckled.

“Like hell he will!” Yaku spluttered, aghast at Hinata’s words.

Hajime laughed, “that geezer sure loves riling us up, doesn’t he?” his laughter increased at the assent in Ushijima’s and Kageyama’s expressions. 

“Oikawa-san maybe be a prick sometimes-“

“Sometimes,” Kageyama snorted, Hinata punching him for interrupting.

“As I said, he might be a prick sometimes, but he’s just like Atsumu-san. That attitude isn’t for nothing, you know? We all know, deep down, there is an equal possibility of us winning the game or Oikawa-san making us eat dust,” Hinata said.

“I, I don’t know if I should be praised of offended at what you just said, Shou-kun,” Atsumu whispered, his face slightly paling at both the comparison and Hinata’s praise to Oikawa.

“That’s one way to put it, Shouyo, and I’m not sure whether I like it or not, but it seems practical. We’ll simply make the possibility of us winning higher then, yeah?” Sakusa spoke for the first time that day.

“Omi-kun, is that affection that I see?” Atsumu fluttered his eyes at Sakusa, and ducked when Sakusa lifted his arm to swat Atsumu.

“Miya, enough. Sakusa-kun, you’re right. Hinata put it in the most practical way. We’re both teams full of calibre, let’s just overpower them today. Okay?” Hajime spoke out loud, garnering the attention of the crowd besides his team.

“As you say, Iwaizumi-san!” Atsumu saluted, “but also, just out of curiosity, do you by any means know their strategies or something? Oikawa-san surely must have shared something with you?” he continued, grinning.

Hajime laughed, “how about we find them out real time?” Enough of this, just do your stretches, we can’t afford straining muscles today,” he ordered, the team scrambling to get into their stretching positions.

Hajime walked up to Kageyama, helping him stretch, “Kageyama, are you alright? You seemed tense before.”

“Aah, I’m fine Iwaizumi-san, I’m slightly nervous,” Kageyama whispered, a light blush coating his cheeks.

“Nervous?” Hajime was puzzled. Kageyama rarely felt nervous, if anything, Hinata must feel nerves, it was his first Olympic appearance. Is Oikawa-

“It’s just that,” Kageyama muttered, his hand scratching his nape, the blush deepening on his face, “it’s Oikawa-san we’re playing against. I’ve watched his recent matches. If anything, he’s a monster.”

“Mhmm,” Hajime hummed, folding his arms, “are you worried whether we would win or not?”

“No! I’m sure we’ll win! We’ve got a good team this time, and we have Hinata. I’m just, excited, I think, to play against Oikawa-san. I’m nervous too,” Kageyama laughed shyly.

“You don’t hate Oikawa,” Hajime spoke, his words more of a realisation than anything.

Kageyama’s eyes widened, “of course not! I’ve always admired him. I’m not sure what made him feel like an inferior because he did things I did not know how to, even in high school. He’s always learning something or the other to better his skill, and I really admire that in him.”

Oh, Hajime thought, so this means Kageyama simply responded to Oikawa’s taunts.

“You didn’t hate him, ever?”

“Aah, I wouldn’t say that Iwaizumi-san. I hated it when he absolutely refused to teach me his serves, you know? And when he was about to hit me, I was scared. High school me didn’t know how to feel about Oikawa-san, it was a mix of admiration and apprehension. But Hinata talked me through it few months ago, so I kind of understand his point of view, or I’ll try to at least.”

“Kageyama.”

“Yes, Iwaizumi-san?”

“You’re a great guy, Kageyama. I’m not making excuses for his behaviour back then, but it wasn’t a good time for him. Volleyball felt like a struggle, rather than a sport. He would never hurt you intentionally.”

“It doesn’t matter now, does it Iwaizumi-san? I won’t say I accept his behaviour, because I was hurt, and from my point of view I haven’t done anything wrong. But like I said, I’m trying to understand what he felt back then,” Kageyama said, a small smile painting his face, “volleyball being a burden is something I can understand. I kind of felt that in middle school too. I was rude back then, ruining things for my teammates. But I grew up, didn’t I? Oikawa-san grew up too, didn’t he?” Kageyama trailed off for a moment.

“Yeah, he loves it now. He said it’s fun,” Hajime replied, watching Kageyama snapping back to reality at his words. 

“That’s good then, isn’t it?” Kageyama replied shyly, “I mean, I’m nervous now because Oikawa-san is a beast in his serves, but I’m also excited to play against him. Winning against him would feel nice, now that there isn’t as much rivalry between us anymore.”

“Yes, yes it would. Win today, Kageyama. I’ll be watching, yeah?”

“O-okay, Iwaizumi-san,” Kageyama blushed even more, bowing a little and jogging towards Hinata, no doubt revising strategies for the match. 

Hajime kept his eyes on Kageyama, his mind wandering to his middle school days. He’s grown well, so so well, Hajime thought, smiling widely.

Hajime let his eyes roam over his team, the Japan team, analysing the member’s exercises and pointing out whenever someone stretched in the wrong way or did it hastily. All of them are monsters, Hajime thought, I wonder how he will put them in a leash today.

\-----------------

The match between Argentina and Japan was one of the most viewed matches of that season. The match was called one of the most intriguing matches, especially with the connection Oikawa Tooru – Argentinian Setter – had with few members of the Japan National Team. 

Oikawa’s serves were brutal this time around, Hajime thought, as he watched Oikawa rip off three service aces in succession. The fourth serve was dug by Sakusa, who then sent the ball straight to Kageyama, who performed his “freak quick” with Hinata. The atmosphere was tense, but his team thrived well in the tensest of the atmospheres, and Hajime was sure the day would end with Japan as the victor.

Hajime’s monsters reciprocated equally to all of Argentina’s attacks, they had a strong defense with Sakusa, Komori, and Hinata. Their offense peaked with Ushijima and Bokuto, and Kageyama seemed to have fun toying with the Argentinian team, with his sets and serves.

The match continued for five sets, with both the nations winning two sets each. Feels like watching a sports anime, Hajime thought as he watched his team go all out for the fifth set.  
Oikawa is a menace, he thought, as he watched Oikawa change his set into a spike in the very last moment, his pose indicating nothing in advance, and making the ball pass through the blockers, and straight onto the court. The fifth, and the final, set had Japan in the lead, with Argentina catching up quickly.

“The rallies sure seem unending, don’t they Iwaizumi-san?” Atsumu stood beside him, eyes focused on his teammates. “Goddamnit,” he cursed, “they’re really good this time. Oikawa-san is tearing us down, it’s evident.” The crowd’s cheers pointed out pulled Hajime’s concentration towards the scoreboard, which glowed 13 – 13 (Arg – Jpn).

Tensions rose high in the court as both the teams fought for dominance, for gaining the last two points, to emerge as the winners. Kageyama and Hinata’s freak quick got dug this time by the Argentinian libero, who sent it directly to their Outside Hitter, who sent the ball flying past the blockers, making Argentina gain another point.

14 – 13 (Arg – Jpn) the scoreboard glowed.

The serve turn went to Ushijima, who served it straight to their Libero, who dug the ball in an awkward angle, making the ball fly sidewards. 

“Yeah, he’s not holding back at all. It’s a family quarrel, after all,” Hajime replied, breath whooshing out of his lungs at the sight of Oikawa running towards the ball, and doing a long set across his side of the court. Just like he did back then, Iwaizumi thought, clenching his fists as his eyes stayed enraptured, following Oikawa’s figure. Let the set not go to waste, not like I did, Hajime thought as he balled his fists, moving forward in his seat.

The spiker hit the ball with brute force, sending it past the middle blockers and Komori, who couldn’t receive the ball in time. 

15 – 13 (Arg – Jpn) the scoreboard glowed. Argentina had won the match, with three sets to two of Japan’s. Oikawa had won, against Ushijima and Kageyama. Oikawa had won against Hinata. Oikawa had won against Iwaizumi.

Oikawa had won against his high school self, who couldn’t see what mattered the most back then, and what matters the most now.

Oikawa Hajime smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaa i'm so nervous bcs this is my first fic ever for iwaoi + hq, and my second fic overall so my writing is most definitely rusty dfjshfjfk 
> 
> don't mind the title i absolutely suck at those rip @ me
> 
> gifting this to ams, who introduced me to the wonder that is haikyuu! love you so so much bubs sfjf i hope you like the fic uwu
> 
> Do comment and Kudos!


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